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A Taste of My Life低调的华丽, 因为生命是一场盛宴
8/22/2008 Staying by Our Choices"Through meditation and by giving full attention to one thing at a time, we can learn to direct attention where we choose." -Eknath Easwaran
We had our friend flying from HK came to dine wit us last night. He disclosed he decided to move on to a U.S based company in a month with appealingly attractive offer and title. We are so happy for him and forthcoming challenges. He revealed his anxiety and concerns about potentially immense and intense work stress. Our conversations unfurled on and on, from living and working way in Asia, the contrast between mainland, HK and Finland, and the outlook to life.
As active and ambitious as he, C always persudes my husband go back to Asia, where has a bigger and broader platform of opportunites. On the other hand, he envies our easy life. We all agree life is about multiple choices. The paychecks and consequences follow afterwards.
I think, we all stand by our choices. Choice about right one for the rest of life. Choice about moving to a new country to settle down in a totally different life as previous one. Choices about having a family. Choices about prioritize family life other than career path. Choices about living in a frugal, simple yet content life. Choices about finding fun in the strands of daily rountines. Choices about lifting up, feeling happy, and living through the mundane.
I never ask myself if I made right choices because I seldom look back. Most of time, we have to trust our instinct. God knows where we get that inspiration at the very moment to know which is the right direction. Or there is NO right or non-right (wrong) in this form. We just follow our heart, to chooce what is more handy, convenient, lucrative, comforty, or utterly opposite way to please our own favors.
After all, life is short. I always believe living at present, opening the eyes to what is around us instead of what might be missed out.
8/14/2008 What A Child Means to UsOur life is absolutely changing to a new rhythm. The priority is shifted clearly to little one. The first week I am back to work, I have already declared determinantly and loudly, that I will not participate any meetings starting before 9am or later than 4pm, and I will try to avoid all kind of travels in the next half. I have no shame about it, because I am a mother to a young baby and I have family life which means everything to me. I believe it does not conflict my career goals, as long as I keep myself invigorative, efficient, opinionated and business-oriented in the working hours.
Sometimes I think the key to good marriage is being about to build up a good team. We may have a disagreement about something and have some ridiculous, unbearable, wrong, or selfish pricks, but nothing really matters after all. I think we could handle our differences and grudges with more maturity and mutual respect. It is funny that parenthood is a grindstone against which our marriage is tested on a daily basis, and a binding force to hold it together. The trivials, which may cause we drop our jaws and pout in fury, will be dissolved in mandane tasks of raising a child. You are just running out of time to think grumpily of another's flaws.
There is no gaurantee for a good relationship, however the truth is, having a baby, even though it tests our patience, saps our romance, and shades our spontaneity, makes me to feel we are a firmer unity. We are more than committed to staying together to raise up a little being. I assume it is how we grow up and live through our life in a meaningful, purposeful and tuneful way.
8/10/2008 A New WeekIn the whirlwind of busy new week, when Miya starts daycare and me back to work at the same time, we finally run to the weekend. We all can have a thorough break. Neither struggling for early morning feeding, diaper changing, nor checking clock constantly in the workplace to worry whether the baby cries too much not to eat properly in daycare.
ON Friday, we gathered at our friend, QQG's home to watch BJ Olympic opening. A big party among all the Chinese folks in the town. Sitting casually in front of TV, witnessing the biggest event in Chinese history, admiring the extraordinary and spectacular display of music, fireworks and dance, the spirit of our patriotism are uplighted. The excitement is contagious, and our heart were racing faster at the very the moment when seeing the torch was passing through, lighting and flaming. It was awesome, amazing, creative, glorious and artful.
We are much more restful and relaxing after a week of drastic changes. We move and step forwards to adapt the new pattern of life. I'm looking forward to feeling at ease after this particular transition period.
8/6/2008 First Day at workWhen I left Miya behind, hearing her frantic shrieking and shouting, I felt nothing but overwhelmingly fits of guilty. The guilt of leaving my young baby in someone else's arm. The guilt of the obstinate thoughts of going back to work. The guilt of my imperfect parenting in the past ten months. The guilt of the separation, tears, cry and hardness. It was harder than I anticipated.
I had been expecting this day for a long while. But in all honesty, i could not concentrate on anything when it comes. Because I worry about Miya and miss her so much. She has never been apart from me for more than two hours since she was born. The stretch of time is frustratingly long. I called daycare in the morning, but cannot reach her nanny or teacher directly. My ears were filled with shrilling squeal at the background, I think it was her. I became woefully panic. Then I called two times afterwards, but phone was not answered. I guess they were busy or having outdoor activities.
I could not sit there doing nothing. Considering it's my first day, I decided to ask Miya's godmother go there right away instead of myself. She called back within half hour, and told Miya was calming down and playing outside. Even though, I am not still much relieved. There are several times in the day, I really wanted to dial in again to ask what was going there, but I hold it back, because I should trust professional caregivers. I was there whole day on Monday, involving in all the daily activities. I am assured they are doing their best, but I could not stop feeling uneasy, antsy and uncomforty.
Well, there is still some exicting thing about my first day. I caught up with a lot of old and new faces, and talked a lot of non-business related topics. Struggling to find individual room as soon as possible. Whoever I bump into, even in the corridor, we basically chatted nothing but parenthood and day-care. It seems people are interested on my new status of being a mother, and of course sharing experience and showing empathy to comfort me.
Regarding to work related, I got my new laptop IBM T61P installed this morning. It went superbly fast and efficient. I sent a couple of mails to inform some counterparts about my back. I urged my boss to schedule my IIP session at soonest, which aims to set up job objectives, targets and overall responsibilities.
I think I am ready and happy for the new challenge awaited.
8/3/2008 Morning WisdomSomeday, we need to be nourished by these profoundly sage, sensible and beautiful words, which may resonate our heart and soul.
"The key to your universe is that you can choose." -Frederick Frieseke
"Enjoy the little things, because someday you might realize that those were the big things." -Author Unknown
"The transformation of one individual becomes a source of and a catalyst for the transformation in others." -Andrew Cohen
"Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it." -David Starr Jordan
"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see." -Henry David Thoreau
"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do." -Epictetus
"Patience is a necessary ingredient of genius." -Benjamin Disraeli
"The secret of joy in work is found in one word - excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it." -Pearl Buck
"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." -George Bernard Shaw
"Enjoying success requires the abililty to adapt. Only by being open to change will you have a true opportunity to get the most from your talent." -Nolan Ryan
"The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough." -Rabindranath Tagore
7/28/2008 Warm and SunlightIt claims we are having the coolest summer in 11 years. However, the mercury climbed up back, and almost reached 30 yesterday. And it seems the upcoming week will keep warm and sunny. That's all we can expect it in the summer days, isn't it?
In the evening, when the velvety and cool air coaxes breeze out of the sun-warmed air of day, I watch the sun dip behind the forest across from our house. The sky are painted and highlighted in pink and orange and transparent blue. The clouds are bedecked sporadically. I sit on the terrace, stretch my legs on the wooden couch and turn my face skywards. The whispering cedars, chirping birds and barking dogs from neighbors make me feel nothing but peaceful and cozy. The first time in months I feel entirely geared down. With my father's visit, we'd been busier showing him around. However, dragging a young baby and traveling by car are not so easy. Sometimes, we all need some solitude to keep our soul calm and our pace slow down.
I think I will remember every fibre of this one year. I remember the joy of having little Miya. I remember first time seeing her, hugging her, nursing her, bathing her and cradling her in the arms. I remember the sheer focus on taking care of a newborn. I remember the uncomfortable nervousness of being a new mother. I remember the mental discipline that keep my sanity and stop myself from going crazy. I remember strings of pleasant and sweet moments. It was an absolutely remarkable and incredible year with many new experiences and first-time try. I would never have thought of so enormous impact and happiness that a child could have brought.
And so, for the last days before returning to work, I would like nothing but smile, guggle, laugh, sing, swirl, twirl, and indulge in the sun.
7/25/2008 Daddy's Back HomeI've been nagging about my father a lot lately. But when we drove him to the airport yesterday, waited at the parking lot till he'd passed custom checking, all of sudden, I felt sad, gloomy and disgruntled. I thought I would be relieved after seeing off him, which I desperatedly need, however I started to miss him and all his childish behaviors.
Back home, when I started to clean off the empty guest room, tears were spilled out. The noises, jokes, laughs, conflicts and ridiculous conversation only between father and daughter whirred around the house. It has been an interesting and unforgettable month for four of them, in many ways. It was short yet long. Alas!
Because no matter what, he is still one of the most important and intimate persons in my life.
PS Calling home, I can feel he is like fish back to sea:-)) 7/21/2008 Miya和猫猫干妈We are honored to have our great friend--Maomao to be Miya's Gan Ma ( i still don't know how to translate in English. It is also called 过房娘 in Shanghainese). While we enjoyed Mao's renowned gourmet in the name of so-called ritual and celebrated this remarkable and meaningful moment, we're more than glad that Miya has got another mommy who will absolutely indulge her, take care of her, play with her, guide her, mentor her, befriend with her, and most importantly love her wholeheartedly.
Copied from Maomao's blog, I think it is the best caption for these touching pictures.
无限快乐享受拥Miya入怀时那份温馨，Miya拿着浴巾和我玩儿藏猫猫时，体会到做妈妈的快乐，扶着Miya蹒跚学步，体会到当妈妈的辛苦，玩累了的Miya象小考拉一样趴在我怀里，和我一起在摇椅上一起荡来荡去，那一刻我感谢干闺女带给我的无限快乐。
Thanks Maomao. Appreciate for everything you've done, and we are in excitement and delight to hug you and HY to join our little family.
7/19/2008 Gushing OutFlipping over the photo and vedio albums and going through all those amazing instances caught since Miya was born, I only can tell time is crawling and flying. It slips by furiously quick before we could grip. Miya is a big girl now, 9 months and a half old. She can crawl freely, stand up herself with a little assist, start to walk clutching my hands.
I am going back to work in Aug, and she will be sent to daycare. I feel excited yet nervous. I worry about the first couple days of new surrounding. I worry about if she will screech and cry for mommy all day long. I worry about if I can concentrate on work without worrying too much. Though i've been told every child has gone through this stage, like weaning off, I still can not help worrying.
I wish I could extend my maternity leave, though I've been yearning back to serious business talks. I believe i will miss past one year vehemently. Turning to a mother and watching over a young baby become incredibly powerful and meaningful and fulfilling to me. It impacts enormously and largely in my life than I could have ever anticipated.
For years, I have been ambitious to excel and have unquenchable thirst to impress. It's surreptitous yet spontaneous desire to be better. Now I think i don't care too much if I thrive on my career path or not. Because I learn to accept who I am and where my feet stand. I used to think success means the ability to compete and win over being better, superior, or perhaps richer. But now I think success only means finding the inner strength and living in a healthy, balanced and happy life.
I am grateful for having Miya. For the journey embarked together with her. For every single day. For the difficult and the easy. For laughs anf tears. For giggles, fun and sweet moments. 7/14/2008 Swim in the LakeOne of my favorite activity is swimming. Swiming outdoors is incredibly fantastic. Sweating in sauna brings incredibly freshing, and then jumping into lake is unbelievably refreshing an free-and-easy. What an amazing combination!
We went to LehmiJarvi again yesterday. The afternoon sun was warm but not hot. The crawling beach was bedecked with running kids, swimmers, campers, families and sun lovers. We had a moment of hesitation when the sky was overcast, but we decided to go as planned.
Thanks to our passion, the heavy and billowy clouds gave way the sun, it turned out to be exactly moderate weather for swimming. We were absolutely making the best of a beautiful afternoon. ´
We had heaps of laughs and giggles with our friends. I am not sure if Miya was really enjoyed as she appeared quite fussy after falling into the sands. Probably she is still too small to play with sands However, I definitely had great fun:-)
7/13/2008 Laugh Out Loud in Every Summer Day
It keeps me sane. It makes me happy. It offers perspective when mired in what ifs and why me and what then. It makes me feel good, feel free, feel soar, and feel loved. It wakes me up and opens my lungs. It makes my heart pulsate faster. It makes me race with bare feet. Laughter releases energy, and it recharges energy. It cleanes. It fills. It calms. It soothes. It caresses. It clears my head. It makes me look silly, giddy but lovable. It fluids like stream. It causes bulging eyes and gaping mouth. It speaks in enphoric voice. It tells mundane and elated stories. In all of its outpouring, it makes me giggle, guffaw, belly-ache moaning. Laught is a way of wellness. A medicine. It's as strong as a black morning cofee. As refreshing as autumn chilly air. As delicate as a glass of fine wine. As lush as evergreens. As rampant as wildflowers in the field. As beautiful as impossibly blue sky. As free as floating bollowy clouds. As relaxing as sitting in the sweating sauna. As rejuvenating as swim in the cold lake. As restorative as a luxury spa. Laugh out loud. In this beautiful summer. In the bright sunshine, in the simmering lake, in the glistening seafront, in the shades of the trees, in the lush forest, and in our sweet home. With gratitude, appreciation, affection, delight, surprise and giddiness. In accompany with little Miya's every step, every movement, every gesture, every cute smile and every snippet of development and growth. Laugh out loud in every summer day!!!
7/10/2008 A Glance at our new Home7/7/2008 Go FishingWe went fishing today. We had great fun!!!
  See what my father caught....
 Actually it was a tiny small fish, haha.....
 7/3/2008 Incredibly Fun
The cruise trip to Stockholm was absolutely lovely because--
soaking in sunny, warm and amiable air
watching people coming and going
indulging in awesome scenes and nature beauty
meandering busy streets and Royal Palace
mostly, having incredibly fun time with our little family
6/29/2008 Pause for A whileI feel like ride on the gig lately, ignoring what's going on outside. Things have gotten very busy in our little house.
We are busy showing my father around. We had BBQ evening in our house, we participated our good friend's wedding, we introduced my father to my godparents, we took day trip to nearby cities, and we were invited to our friends' for dinner.
But, we got bad news. My father dropped down from bicycle when he was cycling the other morning downhill. And he was alone. He came back home with all the bruises and I was so shockingly terrified that almost lost my consciousness. In fact, I felt down on the floor when I saw the blood on his face. Thanks god, my husband keeps
In the midst of our daily hustle and bustle, our flurry of daily activities, rushing here and there, and this sad accident, i keep telling myself I should maximum enjoy, relish and have fun with my family, especially the last month before back to work. I think I should, and would try my best to maintain high spirit.
We are leaving for Stockholm, Sweden tomorrow. Hopefully the gray clouds overhead can be erased.
6/24/2008 We are on Family VacationA moment ago, the sky was torn apart, the lightening was flashing and wind was howling. When the thunderstorm passed away, the day was intermittent with drizzles and occasional sunlight streaming through the heavy clouds.
X was back home on Saturday night, | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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